I had a very vivid dream last night. I was sittin in a single-decked bus, and at the bus stop, a girl stopped the bus, with blood all over her hands, asking the bus driver to help. He drove to the next bus stop, took out some sign and hung it on a lamp post. Very weird. I couldn’t see what the sign was about. He had ran back to the other bus stop to meet the girl again. I got off the bus, I saw J-Boy, wearing an expensive Italian suit but his hair is still the same. Orange and big. I walked towards him and he didn’t smile and he didn’t want to greet me either. He said that he’s found out about his girlfriend’s infidelity, and he got all mad and started crying. He found out from my blog, because I had spoken about it. He said it’s over and done, he’s going off. Why didn’t I tell him earlier? He asked. He waved a reluctant farewell and I saw blood on his hands. He was charged for murder of his girlfriend, the next day. This is very disturbing. I hope it’s not one of my coincidences.

Went to the airport, sent Umam off. He was here on a school break. I keep forgetting which part of Australia he’s studying at. Brisbane, I think. Ah, poor guy. I bet he’s not ready to leave. After 2 years, homecoming is sure heaven. I saw his girlfriend cry, and Laolan started to tear a bit. I’m not very good with departures myself. I’d miss him, yes, but I cried thinking of how much he’ll miss home, more. Kesian dia. His mother was a pain the Malay ass. She was rushing everybody and was very casual about him leaving again. He went in and we all tried to make jokes to cheer each other up. We never want to be apart. I missed my friends so badly when I was in KL. Lain padang, lain belalang nya. Can’t find friends like the ones you already got.

I’m utterly disappointed with a close friend today. He disclosed an immoral secret of his to my friends, and now I feel bad. I feel like I’m to be blamed. Wasn’t I careful? I never drank infront of them and I never share my explicit history with them. It’s not my fault then why am I affected so badly? I dote on him greatly and now I see him differently. If he had told it in private, selective discretion, at least, it could have been something to laugh about. Now I’m so angry at him I don’t want to see his pretty face. God, make me a woman so I can cry without feeling stupid about it.

Let there be patience,

so we can reflect that we make mistakes too.

Let there be tolerance,

so we know we might anger or annoy other people too.

Let there be faithfulness,

so we know the people we depend on can depend on us too.

Let there be loyalty,

so we know who to look for when we’re lost.

Let there be generosity,

so we don’t calculate the things we give because we always

receive as much or more. Much much more.

Let there be kindness,

so we can feel happy for somebody else,

instead of looking for our own happiness.

Let there be forgiveness,

so we know we’re always indebted, always.

Let there be always be chance,

so we can find out whether we deserve a 2nd.

I sang Toni Braxton on my way back in the car, and Shakirah said “kau feeling apa?” I said “Stevie Wonder”. She asked to listen to radio instead. I turned it on, dengan kebetulan, it was Stevie Wonder.